When planning your wedding, one of the biggest decisions you’ll make is who will lead your ceremony. Should it be a celebrant, a registrar, or a minister of religion?
There’s no simple answer. Each option has its strengths, depending on your beliefs, values, and the kind of day you want. This guide will help you make a confident, informed choice.
Take me to the church?
The first question you need to ask is whether you definitely want to be married in a religious building. If you do, the choice is simple: you’ll need to contact your minister or priest to make arrangements. Couples getting married in churches other than the Church of England or the Church in Wales typically need to give notice of marriage at the local register office.
Church weddings are, of course, very traditional, but the drawback is that you may have little say over the content of the ceremony itself. Unless you know the minister very well, they are unlikely to have the time to adapt the script.
But if a church wedding is not for you, then you need to choose between a registrar and a celebrant.
Register office?
If you want to keep the costs down and are not too worried about the format, then a wedding at a register office could be the right option. Registrars are generally well-trained and skilled at delivering a standardised service.
If the location is not a register office, then it gets more complex. The registrar can come to another authorised venue, but the costs will increase.
In both cases, the registrar may allow you to personalise your vows somewhat. Note that you will not be able to have any religious element; this includes hymns, prayers, poems with religious references, and even playing Robbie Williams’ “Angels” would not be allowed.
If you want to add other symbolic rituals, it is unlikely that a registrar will be able to oblige.
What can a celebrant do?
Location
A celebrant can conduct the ceremony in any location, whether it’s a licensed venue or not. It could be a hotel, castle, village hall, your garden, a beach, or a clearing in the woods.
Rituals
There are many rituals, both traditional and modern, that couples like to incorporate. For example, a sand blending ceremony is very popular, especially for blended families or when two cultures join. Handfasting (or “tying the knot”) provides a lovely ritual focus to the ceremony. Only a celebrant can help you build exactly the right rituals that suit your values and personality.
Vows
Do you want to write your own vows? If so, a celebrant can help you bring them together and deliver them in a meaningful way.
Extras
Are there any special musical performances or other unusual features you want to incorporate?
Personalisation
If you want your guests to say, “Your wedding was just perfectly you,” then a celebrant can create something absolutely personal. They will take the time to get to know the couple, learn about their personalities and preferences, and craft a ceremony that is truly unique.
Rehearsal
Couples often want to do a rehearsal at the venue, particularly if there are a lot of people or rituals involved. A celebrant will usually include a rehearsal in the standard pricing.
Are there any drawbacks?
The main thing to bear in mind is that in England and Wales a celebrant cannot perform the legal marriage. But many couples do the minimum statutory requirement at a register office, then relax and enjoy a fully personalised ceremony a few days afterwards.
Need help deciding?
I’m always happy to talk you through the options—no pressure, just friendly advice.
Feel free to reach out via my contact page or book a free call.