Ceremony, legality, and lifelong commitment explained.
It’s easy to use the words wedding, marriage, and being married interchangeably — but they each mean something slightly different. And understanding those differences can help you make more intentional choices about your ceremony and what comes after it.
Let’s take a closer look.
A wedding is the ceremony
The wedding is the moment.
It’s the ritual, the celebration, the gathering of people who love you. It’s the words you speak to one another, the symbolism you choose, the music, the laughter, the tears, the walk down the aisle, and the kiss at the end.
It’s the experience you create — and it can be personal, meaningful, light-hearted, profound, traditional, modern, spiritual, or something else entirely.
You don’t need to be legally married to have a wedding ceremony. And a legally binding marriage doesn’t require a wedding either. But for many couples, the wedding is the expression of everything they feel and everything they want to say to the world — or just to each other.
A marriage is a legal status
Marriage is a legal contract, granted by the state.
It changes your legal rights and responsibilities, from inheritance and pensions to tax and immigration status. In England and Wales, a marriage must be registered either at a register office or at a licensed venue – either civil or religious – with specific words spoken in front of authorised officials and witnesses.
If you choose a celebrant-led ceremony, you’ll typically do the legal bit separately — preferably shortly before your wedding day, in a short statutory registration at your local office. Many couples find this straightforward and unobtrusive, allowing them to focus their wedding day on what really matters to them.
Being married is everything that comes after
Being married isn’t something that happens in a moment.
It’s a relationship you grow into over time — through shared experiences, choices, values, and memories. It’s the quiet Tuesday evenings and the big life decisions. The way you support one another, argue well, say sorry, and keep showing up. It’s the edd and flow of decisions and outcomes as a couple – sometimes one taking the lead and the other stepping back; at other times the roles switching. It’s being each other’s cheerleader, coach, therapist and biggest fan.
This part can’t be granted by a registrar or performed by a celebrant. It’s entirely yours to build.
Why does this matter?
Because when you understand the difference between a wedding, a marriage, and being married, you can choose each one with more clarity.
A celebrant-led wedding gives you the freedom to shape the ceremony around your story, your beliefs, and your hopes for the future. You can treat it as more than a formality — more than a box-tick on the road to becoming legally wed.
You can make it a moment of meaning.
A beginning.
A celebration not just of what you are but of who you want to be together.
Would you like to talk about your ceremony?
If you’re planning your wedding and want it to reflect the real you, I’d love to help. You can get in touch to chat things through.